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Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards
http://radiovive.us/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=18569
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Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Tue Aug 22, 2017 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Gemstone Abyss
Land-R
When Gemstone Abyss enters the battlefield, its controller reveals his or her hand. Each opponent chooses a card from it. That player exiles those cards.
: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Mon Aug 28, 2017 5:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Skithiryx's Boon
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a creature you control with infect dies, flip a coin.
If heads, it deals damage equal to its power to target player (in the form of poison counters)
If tails, it deals damage equal to its power to target creature (in the form of -1/-1 counters)

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Gravecrawler Baloth
Creature-Beast (U)
Embalm
When Gravecrawler Baloth enters the battlefield, if it's a token, it enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it.
2/2

(Note that even though this uses Embalm, this is not an Amhokhet card, for a lot of reasons).

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Tue Sep 05, 2017 8:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

This card will not make sense unless you've an inkling of the Ixalan storyline...
Spoiler

Author:  astarael7 [ Tue Sep 05, 2017 4:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Gravecrawler Baloth
Creature-Beast (U)
Embalm
When Gravecrawler Baloth enters the battlefield, if it's a token, it enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it.
2/2

(Note that even though this uses Embalm, this is not an Amhokhet card, for a lot of reasons).
This doesn't work. I think the following might (with maybe a minor tweak to the rules to clarify that the ability is using the value of X from the graveyard, not exile).
Quote:
When you embalm Gravecrawler Baloth from your graveyard, the token enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it.

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Fuel the Horde
Instant (U)
Choose an artifact, creature or land subtype (Examples include Vehicle, Merfolk and Forest). Put a +1/+1 counter on each permanent you control of that subtype.

Author:  Radical Jackal [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 2:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Skithiryx's Boon
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a creature you control with infect dies, flip a coin.
If heads, it deals damage equal to its power to target player (in the form of poison counters)
If tails, it deals damage equal to its power to target creature (in the form of -1/-1 counters)

I don't think it should be this easy for infect creatures to get direct damage to players.
You need to choose all of the targets when it triggers and flip the coin when it resolves.

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Skithiryx's Boon
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a creature you control with infect dies, flip a coin.
If heads, it deals damage equal to its power to target player (in the form of poison counters)
If tails, it deals damage equal to its power to target creature (in the form of -1/-1 counters)

I don't think it should be this easy for infect creatures to get direct damage to players.
You need to choose all of the targets when it triggers and flip the coin when it resolves.

That's why there's a coin flip. If there were no coin flip, people would just choose player 80-90% of the time.

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

So people are talking on the news about Hurricane Irma's storm surge

Hurricane Irma
Instant (U)
Hurricane Irma deals 2 damage to each creature with flying and each player. If it was cast for its surge cost, it deals 3 damage to those targets instead.
Storm
Surge

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Sat Sep 09, 2017 1:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Into the Unknown
Sorcery (C)
Scry 3
Explore
When Admiral Becket Brass cast off from Port Royal, she knew not where she was headed.

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Tue Sep 12, 2017 9:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Greedy Scoundrel
Creature-Human Pirate (U)
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Greedy Scoundrel unless you sacrifice a Treasure.
Pieces of eight, Pieces of eight!
3/3

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Fountain of Youth
(Art-A Conquistadead drinking from a fountain)
Instant (U)
You gain X life. If you control a Vampire, you gain an additional X life

I'm sad that Sanguine Sacrament made the cut and not this. They should reference Juan Ponce de Leon.

Fell the Timbers
(Flavor/Art: Chopping down trees to build tall ships)
Enchantment-Aura (U)
Enchant land
Enchanted land loses all abilities and is a 4/4 Vehicle Artifact with crew 2
Admiral Becket Brass conquered Itlimoc solely for trees for her next fleet

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Tue Oct 03, 2017 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Crop Circle
Land (R)
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control a Swamp
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control a Mountain
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control a Forest
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control a Plains
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control an Island

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Chaos Tax
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a land enters the battlefield, its controller sacrifices it unless he or she pays .

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Relentless Bear
Creature-Bear
A deck can have any number of cards named Relentless Bear.
2/2

Author:  TPmanW [ Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Crop Circle
Land (R)
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control a Swamp
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control a Mountain
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control a Forest
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control a Plains
: Add to your mana pool. Play this ability only if you control an Island

I like this. The art obviously has to be of a crop pentacle, perhaps with symbols at each tip.
I wonder if it should be "Add to your mana pool; if you control a swamp, you may add to your mana pool instead. If you control a..." That wouldn't read well without appropriate line breaks though, and I'm not on what basis WOTC hands out linebreaks.

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Sat Dec 30, 2017 6:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Very Austere Command
Sorcery (R)
Choose two:
  • Destroy all Contraptions
  • Destroy all enchantments
  • Destroy all creatures with flavor text
  • Destroy all creatures without flavor text

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Eternal Shade
Creature-Shade (U)
: Eternal Shade gets +1/+1 until end of turn
: Eternal Shade gains indestructible until end of turn
1/1

Opal Gauntlets
Artifact-Equipment (U)
Equipped creature has ": Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature and add one mana of any color to your mana pool."
Equip

Cemetery Well
Land
: Add to your mana pool
: Exile target card from a graveyard
, , Sacrifice Cemetery Well: Put a permanent card exiled with Cemetery Well onto the battlefield under your control

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Overgrowth Overlord
Creature-Elf Druid (R)
Other Elves you control have ": Add to your mana pool"
: Add to your mana pool
2/2

Author:  purplebackpack89 [ Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Purple's Stupid Thread of Stupid Cards

Crazed Cerodon
Creature-Beast (U)
Haste, menace
When ~ enters the battlefield, target creature can't block this turn
2/2

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