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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 3:24 am 
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@Epilogue: I like it! The meditation scene is a nice way to wrap it up. There's a really appealing parallelism with the Prologue, which starts out as "Sharaka burned," which she does here too, and her meditation also parallels interestingly with her panic attack from the prologue.

Thanks! It wasn't a completely conscious choice, but fire is a very ambivalent symbol for Sharaka so it makes sense. Btw: the first time she accidentally set something on fire was the night after her mother's culling, when she manifested magic for the first time.

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I also like Sharaka's continued distrust of Elphimas despite trying to trust him.

Even before Sophron, viashino have a racial distrust for... basically any non/viashino hammered into them since young age. It may be useful as a survival tactic, but it's not as useful for heartfelt conversations.

Now I'm imagining Dorn meeting Aloise. Oof.

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I can't help but picture Sharaka, maybe lying back on the grass and becoming increasingly annoyed and bored at Elphimas's long-winded, overly technical explanation of planeswalking and the Blind Eternities. It reminds me of the time in War of the Wheel when Denner is trying to figure out how Antine could have possibly gotten lost:

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He didn’t understand it. He had been so careful with his explanations to Antine. He had carefully explained how, if the fox would simply follow what Xac of Tryx had named the “third subconverginal nuance of the aether” until he encountered a transpulsar wave, and then continue along a quasidirectional manafluxional line, he would arrive right where Daneera and the others were. He couldn’t understand how the fox had gotten lost!


I wonder if any of us could possibly understand a hypothetical conversation between Elphimas and Denner...

I love coming up with pseudo-jargon; Elphimas tries to use simple terms when talking to laymen, but I'd be delighted in writing a dialogue with another scholar, with other people's brains tapping out after the first two lines :D

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I noticed several typos right in a row in the second section. I didn't jot them all down, but they started with this line:

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Did he really thought nothing of being brought to tears like that?

On it! I'll reread this multiple times before putting it to vote.

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Thanks for posting! I look forward to seeing where Sharaka goes from here!

Thanks for reading and commenting!

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