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 Post subject: Re: M:EM High School
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 10:24 pm 
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Thanks so much for reading, Raven and Brentain! <3


Interesting, seeing someone put the "athlete" back in "mathlete" with a spirited sprint.

I can't explain why I'm so amused by the mental image of the red-eyed woman (red-eyed high-schooler?) jumping up out of a bush -- presumably with the odd leaf or branch still stuck on her outfit -- and taking off for a school bus at a dead run, with Aloise -- backpack bouncing -- struggling to keep up, but I confess that I am. :D


The mental image this entire scene conjures is pretty hilarious. Aloise trying to be nonchalant while doing something so silly is a great image, as is a grown woman hiding in a bush.

I just love the idea of Jackie being absolutely mortified about being on mathletes, and Aloise trying so hard to play it cool and inconspicuous, even though that runs against all her instincts. :)

The other fun thing for me to think about is that, if we were seeing a slightly-older, slightly-more-mature version of Jackie, she probably wouldn't give a toss about what anyone else thinks of her in this situation. But -- kind of similar to how we see her change over time in her canon stories -- this is a younger version of Jackie, here, and she still has some insecurities which she will eventually grow out of, but hasn't quite yet.


I was particularly fond of the top ten list joke, and of course, the Twins waiting around in the parking lot spells trouble for someone.

Double trouble, at least! :D And I'm glad people liked that joke -- it's one of my favorites in the story. :)

Brief aside -- I wasted a lot of time trying to decide what kind of car Chardis would have, before eventually just punting on the question, and going with the most generic possible description. I couldn't decide if he would have a stereotypical rich brat car -- like a BMW, or something -- or if he would have an muscle car, like a Pontiac Firebird, complete with a phoenix painted on the hood.


Poor Antine. I wonder who convinced him to try out for the wrestling team...

I'll give you two guesses! :D

I feel bad for once again picking on Antine. It's not even a particularly good incidence of deus ex machina, either, since neither Antine or Beryl strike me as the wrestling type. (Although Tryst certainly does...) I should have devoted that time I spent pondering Chardis's car to coming up with a more plausible afterschool activity which could result in Beryl setting someone on fire, and which Aloise wouldn't necessarily have been present for, but I came up sort of blank, and just went with the first idea I had which didn't seem to stink out loud. I'm sure someone else could have come up with something better.

I do at least like the mental image of Raef dual-wielding fire extinguishers. :D For a while, I thought about having it be Kahr, but I feel like he's more on the supply side of fire, along with Beryl...

I also like the implication that Jackie likely skipped lunch to avoid being seen in her uniform, which gives me this great little mental image of her going to school that day, but skipping all her classes, and doing anything she could to not be seen.

I like to imagine that Jackie has a trick for disabling the smoke detector in the girl's bathroom, and I more or less imagine that she spent all day smoking in one of the stalls, while listening to The Clash and Depeche Mode on her walkman. :D


Thanks for posting!

Thank you so much for reading! These are so much fun to do. :)


Brentain wrote:
Agreed on the top ten list.

Right?


Brentain wrote:
That makes the mathlete uniform nearly as bad as a dress, doesn't it?

Hah, I didn't even make this connection! I love that parallel -- thanks for pointing it out! :D


Brentain wrote:
At one point, I wondered whether it was Tryst, but then her name came up, and she's not exactly self-conscious.

Well, I can totally picture Tryst in the bushes outside school, but it would be for a decidedly different reason. :takei:

:)


Brentain wrote:
I must confess that I'm with Aloise on this one. My mathlete shirt is now part of a quilt, along with Einstein, Motorola University, a cross-stitched owl, and a few other relics from junior high.

That's super cool! I wish I had thought of doing that with all my various shirts from school groups and whatnot.

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 Post subject: Re: M:EM High School
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2018 1:13 pm 
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Spoiler


Spoiler


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 Post subject: Re: M:EM High School
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2018 9:31 pm 
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OK, I laughed so loud at the end I was worried about waking up Mrs. OL. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: M:EM High School
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2018 10:10 pm 
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OK, I laughed so loud at the end I was worried about waking up Mrs. OL. :lol:

:D

I really like the ending. I would say, though, that Antine's jingle is my favorite thing here, although his insistence that his self-described "complicated scheme" is the best way to go cracks me up.

Thanks for reading!


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 Post subject: Re: M:EM High School
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 9:01 pm 
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I really like the ending. I would say, though, that Antine's jingle is my favorite thing here, although his insistence that his self-described "complicated scheme" is the best way to go cracks me up.

Thanks for reading!

The earnestness with which he is convinced that a complicated scheme is the best plan is simultaneously hilarious, endearing, and somehow perfectly correct for Antine. :)

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 Post subject: Re: M:EM High School
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:30 am 
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To be fair, has a straightforward plan ever worked for Antine? I seem to recall that the last time he tried to face his relationship problems head on, he got shot.

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 Post subject: Re: M:EM High School
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 11:10 am 
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Aaarrrgh wrote:
To be fair, has a straightforward plan ever worked for Antine? I seem to recall that the last time he tried to face his relationship problems head on, he got shot.

Antine wrote:
~whimpers~


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 Post subject: Re: M:EM High School
PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2018 10:11 pm 
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Aaarrrgh wrote:
To be fair, has a straightforward plan ever worked for Antine? I seem to recall that the last time he tried to face his relationship problems head on, he got shot.

This is an EXTREMELY valid point which had not occurred to me!

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